We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
