I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
