She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
