I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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