He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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