what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize