Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
