your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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