I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
