Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
