I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
