just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
