i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize