He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
