Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
