Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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