What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
