she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
