Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
