I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
