so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
