I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
