and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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