Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
you inspire me to be a worse person
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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