Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
