so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
