I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
porn star boner night. come get it.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
