He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
the raccoons are back...
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