We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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