If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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