Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It's rum buckets o'clock
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
