So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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