i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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