I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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