i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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