To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
