"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
