Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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