hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
