just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
