worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
