My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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