So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
