So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
