We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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