Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize