Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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