Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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