forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
