i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
