Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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