Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I would fuck him just for his dog
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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