And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
