"it" just moved
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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