My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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