and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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