Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
