Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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