No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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