she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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