yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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