I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Even my vagina gasped.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
