sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
bring money and cleavage
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
