I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
