Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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