i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize