I could have mohawked her pubes.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
